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Soucheray: Resiliency means balance in our lives

Many social scientists are interested in a phenomenon called "resiliency." Resiliency is experienced by most of us in how flexible or hardy we are, how pliant, tough or quick to recover we are from the difficulties we face. Whether we're grieving a job loss, a divorce or a recent untimely death in our family, we will be able to attain this experience of resiliency by managing well the struggles we face.

For many families today, they are learning to become more resilient as they handle both parents working, with the kids in several activities and all the demands of running a busy, active home. From grocery shopping, to cleaning, to helping kids with homework, every young family today seems to be living on the fast-track, whether they want to be or not. For these busy families, finding a moment to savor the good and peaceful moments of life appear as if they are far too few for all the work they are doing.

Our daughter is squarely in the middle of this demographic. She has been married nearly four years. She and her husband have a busy 18-month-old son, with another baby due this summer. They both have demanding careers, along with the expectations of being loving parents and astute home-owners. And this means, of course, shoveling all the snow this winter, staying on top of the never-ending laundry and preparing healthy, nutritious meals.

So when our daughter shared that she took some time to snuggle with their little guy, enjoying a DVD she loved as a child on VHS, I knew she was becoming more resilient and finding greater balance in her life. And this is part of what resiliency offers us. It allows us to step back from the hubbub and hurry of our lives and put things into perspective. It allows us to remember to take time for the most important things and to let the rest go. It also reminds us not to take ourselves too seriously.

Resiliency is a concept that is getting attention today from many circles because the pace of our lives does not seem to be diminishing, but rather holding steady, and expecting us to adjust to this whirling ride we're on. It also expects us to find that ever-important balance that helps us experience our lives as joyful, enriching and fulfilling.

Take a moment and think about what you could do today to help yourself, and your family, have a more gratifying, heartwarming and enjoyable week? And then do one thing to help bring that about. And remember that resiliency is not about brilliance but about balance.

Soucheray is a Woodbury resident and a licensed family therapist