Soucheray: Looking back on a blessed event

Well, the weekend is over, our son and daughter-in-law are married and so we have begun a new chapter in our family’s life. The ceremony was held at a Lutheran church, presided over by a Lutheran minister, the pastor of the Lutheran church, as well as a Catholic priest. It was truly a blessed event, one that will be remembered for a long, long time.

There were so many special moments, I’m not sure where to begin. The highlights for me, as I remember them now, about 36 hours after the wedding, are that the mother-of-the bride, a dear friend, hugged me after we each lit our candle for the unity candle, which was then lighted by our children. I did not know she was going to do that, and I’m not sure she did either. It was so spontaneous, in the moment and felt just right.

This was after our son walked my husband and me down the aisle to seat us and he hugged me for what seemed like a very long, loving hug. Someone told me one time that when we are hugging someone, we always be the last to let go. And so I did.

During the ceremony itself, a small choir sang, “The Servant Song,” which has the essence of willingly becoming servants to each other. Such is the foundation of marriage and the song finished with an amazing verse with no accompaniment, which rendered it so special, memorable and poignant.

As our son and now daughter-in-law exchanged their vows, they did so while smiling. At the rehearsal the evening before, the presiding pastor strongly suggested that the two of them to recite their vows while smiling. He told them it’s much easier to hear the words clearly when they are smiling. Now I’m not sure if this is true or not, but both of them proclaimed their commitment to each other so everyone in the entire church could hear them. It was a true testimony of their love.

At the reception, people seemed to have such a good time. There was no drunkenness or out-of-line, embarrassing behavior. Again, this is likely due to the quality of the friends they have each chosen.

As I write this, I wonder if people reading this column will believe this is all really true. There is no intention to be puffed up, only to express how touched our family was by the integrity of all the parties involved. It is a blessing for us to have our son marrying into such a solid, loving family, one that will surround him with stability and assurance that he now has two groups of people who love and appreciate him for the wonderful man he has become. We hope our daughter-in-law feels the same.

Raising young people to choose a mate wisely is no small feat, especially in the culture in which we are currently living. We must all begin with our values clearly in mind, so that we are able to convey these values to our children, who will then seek someone of a similar values’ mindset.

For our family, we wrote a mission statement about 15 years ago, and that has helped provide a focus for us about what we believe is the right way for us to go. It reads, “To raise excellent children, to become outstanding contributors to society, all the while using our own gifts and talents, all for the glory of God.” That was it. Simple. Clear. Plain. Understandable. Livable.

Soucheray is a Woodbury resident and a licensed family therapist

Tags: opinion, viewpoint, columnn