SOUCHERAY: The 40 Assets should be staples

As I wrote last week, the Forty Assets are not sexy, meaning they are not catchy, glitzy, shocking or attention-getting. In fact, they are so commonplace and plain that they are easily overlooked in favor of something that is much more appealing. Such as living in the spotlight or a posting on Facebook.

And yet, the Forty Assets could be likened to providing our children with a healthy diet of vegetables and fruits, as opposed to sweets, pizza and unhealthy foods that are not nutritious. They could be likened to providing direction and clear values to our children, as opposed to letting them put themselves to bed whenever they are ready, finishing their homework if they want to and helping with chores, if and when they feel like it.

The Forty Assets offer a means of understanding what helps a young person become a positive, contributing member of society. The Assets will not make the headlines of the evening news, nor will they be a featured news story on “60 Minutes” or “20/20.”

What they will give parents is a method to impart a grounding in what is most helpful in raising children to become outstanding adults. This is not sexy or eye-catching in any way. Parents will have to be content with knowing they are doing the right thing for their children, rather than receiving lots of attention from society.

The attention these parents receive will come much later, when their children graduate from high school or college with honors, find a job that is perfectly suited to them, or when difficult things happen and they are able to be truly resilient because they believe in themselves.

The attention will come when their children are getting married to someone who is kind, thoughtful and loves their child and intends to be their partner for life. It will come when grandchildren arrive and these parents witness their children understanding how to parent.

You see, the Forty Assets offer a positive parenting cycle, one that will reap rewards for generations to come. For we know as parents that each day with our children we are touching the future, through each interaction, be it positive or negative, or somewhere in between.

As parents, we want to be as present, focused and involved in our children’s lives as we can be, given our limitations and commitments. And when our limitations and commitments cause us to be distracted or overly busy, we have the responsibility to see that and know what to do to get ourselves back on track, back in the game.

That is our responsibility. We must be able to see when something is preventing us from fully being in the game, the game of life, that is, and do what is necessary to take care of that distraction, hurt or unhappiness. Our obligation as a positive, caring, involved parent is to be the parent, which requires us to be the best adult we can be, given these limitations and commitments.

Maybe we will have to talk to a friend or a counselor. Maybe we will take a class. Maybe we will visit with our pastor or priest. Whatever is required, it is our responsibility as the adult, to recognize that something is not in right order and take the initiative to find the help we need so we can get back to the business of being the parent in our home.

The Forty Assets offer a guide to help us know what is necessary in our culture today to raise children who will assume the duties of becoming positive, mature adults. As is often said, there is no time like the present to get at this and do our best to see that it is done to the best of our ability. That’s all that is asked of us. To pay attention, have our heads in the game, see what is best for our children and then make decisions to put those best things first.

With this in mind, the Forty Assets assume parents are willing to be parents and to do the job entrusted to them through the expectations of this role. The Forty Assets give us a means to know and understand how to apply these expectations. We don’t even have to think them up for ourselves. It’s actually that easy. Right.

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